(no subject)

[dilithium]

( i brought a pistol to the end of the world )

when all that's left between you and the end of everything you know is the distant sound of gunfire – like firecrackers on the fourth of july, snap-crackle-popping so loud in your ears that you're sure you'll go deaf from it.

when you think of the last thing you said to the one you love, and you wonder if it's going to be the one promise you've ever made that you're going to have to break. ( and you hate yourself for it, more than you could ever think to put words to, even if you've never been all that great with them in the first place. )

when you look death in the face – not for the first time, but you wonder if it will be the last – and there is no fear. there never has been, and there never will be, because there are too many counting on you for this. too much riding on the next few moments, your next few breaths, the weight of that pistol in your hands and the weight of your own heart in your chest.

will they be proud of you?